The Rebuild & the Rankings

Posted on 03/01/2011 by


“All the money in the world can’t buy what it takes to be a champion” -Charlie Sheen or The Ultimate Warrior?

I discovered a fun little game today. Look at quotes and figure out if Charlie Sheen or the Ultimate Warrior said it? (take a look here)

This is an enjoyable but hard game. Which shouldn’t be that surprising since they both share a spirit animal.

Insanity Wolf knows PI out to infinity digits

I found that little tidbit because I was a little annoyed today. I wanted to rank all the teams but all the trades were screwing with me.

I took a deep breath and decided to get creative. It’s time for a Rebuild of the League.

“I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process.” –Charlie Sheen or The Ultimate Warrior ?

Take all the players, figure out which rosters they’re currently on, project their minutes, figure out their WP48 (weighed more towards the present than the past), take out the effects of altitude,rest and opponents.

Sound like a pain in the butt to do.

Luckily, I have an app for that.

There's an app for everything (Image courtesy of

The messy part looks like this:

The cool and pretty part looks like so:

Couple of notes on this:

  • This is injury adjusted so it assumes that Perk, Camby, Gay and a few others are not available.
  • The New Look Thunder when healthy are the Class of the West. Anything but the Finals would be a huge disappointment.
  • The Blazers should scare the pants off anyone in the Playoffs. I’m back on the Blazer Bandwagon. Homecourt advantage and Eduardo the kneecapping evil elf of Oregon are the only thing that could stop them from going deep in the Western Playoffs.
  • Boston needs to sign somebody to play Center for them desperately (Paging Dr. Murphy, Dr. Troy Murphy please answer the green phone and ignore the red one).
  • I owe Morey an apology. Shipping off the bad has made his team look way good. It’ll be interesting to see how this develops.
  • Orlando is a contender. Assuming Dwight can stay out of foul trouble
  • Philly and Memphis are for real. New York is not
  • The Eastern playoffs will be epic.

That was fun. Keep in mind that there is some guesswork here but it’ll be fascinating to watch.

One last quote and then goodnight:

“Your jaw would hit the floor if I revealed the identity of the corporate and mainstream bigwigs and hotshots who write me in secrecy, privately cheering me on, sweating and panting at the thought of just once having the balls to tell the ones they work with, and even the ones they have to live with, that they don’t give a fuck what they think.”Charlie Sheen or The Ultimate Warrior ?

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